The Danger of Wearing Gym Shorts

I was going to call this post: "The Danger of Wearing Gym Shorts in January," because it rolls off the tongue. However my calendar clearly shows that it is February – whew how time flies.  Anyhow….

Wade had been asked to work at the sale barn.  They were expecting 5,000 head at the sale and needed all the hands they could find to load out.  Being the good guy that he is – he agreed to help out.  So on the day of the sale he went in to work at the feed mill and put in a full 8 hours there.  He hoped in his truck and drove to the barn.  He spent the rest of the night on and off a horse gathering from the back pens and loading pots.  I didn’t hear from him all night which means he was busy!!  He came home about 7 that morning and had to feed the bulls and horses at our farm as our landlord is on vacation.  I was to call him at 8:30 to wake him up so he could go to work at the feed mill.   It only took 12 calls to rouse him out of bed.  

He got off work at 5 and it was getting dark and he needed to get the cows fed when he got home.  I was inside.  I had already done my outside chores. It was chilly and the wind was blowing hard again as a front was moving out.  It had rained most of the day and things were extra sloppy outside.  The house was warm for once and I slipped into something a bit more comfortable –moccasins, t-shirt and a pair of Wade’s long basketball gym shorts.  I knew he would be hungry when he came in so like any good wifey I started on supper.  I was mixing up some biscuits when my phone began to ring.  It was Wade.  “Grab my spotlight and get @#!! Down here…I got cows in the silage pit.”   So I kicked off the moccasins slapped on my cowboy boots – without socks. Grabbed my Carhartt coat and went running out into the dark with Gus at my heels and my biscuits on the counter. 

There was Wade cussing and madder than a wet hen.  I didn’t ask how or why the cows were in the pit…I saw that the tractor and mixer was on the other side of the fence with hungry cows clamoring around it. I deduced that the cattle had escaped as Wade was opening the gates and moving the tractor into the field.

The mud was absolutely awful in the yard and the wind was biting against my bare legs. With spotlight in hand Wade attempted to drive the cows out of the pit and I worked the gate.  We got most of them in but wouldn’t you know we had two that just ran in circles.  Do you know how hard it is to chase black cows in the pitch dark?  Well Wade was losing his cool, which is a nice way to put it.  You see he was now going on 36 hours without sleep and it was beginning to catch up with him.   

I was standing ankle deep in mud, the wind whipping around my shorts, holding a gate halfway open and Gus whimpering at my side wondering if Wade was mad at him.  Finally I had enough and shouted at Wade, "just get the other cows fed - they will follow and I will have the gate open."  After some coaxing he agreed it was the thing to do.  Sure enough once the tractor and mixer got to going down the pasture those girls knew they were missing the boat and came running my direction.  I had the gate open and in they ran.  Easy.

I waited and opened the gates for Wade as he drove the mixer and tractor back into the yard.  I then stomped off back to fixing dinner while he put the equipment away and plugged in the tractor. 

I had in mind an elaborate meal planned but after spending twenty minutes in the windy dark with manure and mud on my legs and gym shorts I just wasn’t in the mood.  I threw the biscuits in the oven and made hamburger gravy to go with them.  Gus was a mess, my kitchen floor was covered in muddy paw prints and chunks of what I will call mud. Wade came in a huff and apologized for his gruffness.   He took one look at me and began to laugh which caused me to laugh.  My biscuits came out light and fluffy.   

The End.